Intentions, not resolutions
A buzzy word out in the world as 2023 begins is intention. I have been reading about a shift in thinking from having resolutions to having intentions.
As I have learned more, I see how resolutions can lead to shaming self talk. I know this is true for me. I have so many unfulfilled resolutions in my life that often make me feel like I am not enough because I can not achieve the resolutions I set for myself. I often say, this will be the year I finally lose the weight and fit into my skinny jeans. I will finally finish that project I have been putting off. I can remember hundreds of these “resolutions'' I have made and not achieved. Yes, I have not achieved my resolutions AND I am OK.
Unmet resolutions can end in a negative self-talk cycle. Since a resolution hopes to reach a certain goal or outcome, if we do not “achieve” it, we can see ourselves as not enough. This thinking is not productive. To believe If I do this thing (lose weight), then I will be happy set us up for failure. You see, when I stay in my inner critic or not enough mind, I suffer. Unmet resolutions feed right into my inner critic mind. As I fail again and again to meet my resolutions, I feel worse. In my IC mind, I believe that there is something wrong with me because I could not lose the weight or finish that project.
I say NO to this way of thinking.
I believe IF, THEN is a fallacy. You do not need to do anything to be OK now. I am already exactly where I need to be. I am OK in each moment exactly as I am - flaws and all. I do not need to arrive anywhere. I am already here. Meeting a resolution will not lead me to happiness, living in the moment and trusting my authentic self will.
I acknowledge that yes, I have to take actions that lead me to my goals and dreams, however, my happiness does not depend on reaching my goals, it depends on accepting myself exactly as I am. Contentment exists in each moment.
So, if resolutions are OUT, I plan to choose to think of the new year in terms of what I intend to do to find peace and flow in my life. I intend to take actions that align with my own personal North Star. Through curiosity and openness to what the universe is teaching me, I know I will find peace.
As I shift my paradigm to one of intention rather than resolution, I know I will see a whole new world. My anxiety will decrease. I will experience joy more readily. My feelings of gratitude will soar.
I have learned to live my life with intention. I of course often, well always, go back to my inner critic mind. I can't help it. It is automatic. The neural pathways for her to thrive have been there for 57 years. It is not easy to build new neural pathways.
To believe my new paradigm it takes time, practice and patience. I am doing my best to be patient as I work towards flow.
As I continue to this work, my evolution is palpable. I feel different in my body. I feel different in my mind. I see the world in brighter hues. I truly believe my consciousness has been elevated because of living intentionally.
Again, this shift does not mean that I do not go back into my automatic, inner critic mind. I do every day. I am also sad at times. Life can be hard. However, when this happens, I know how to acknowledge what comes up, honor it all and breathe. The more I allow myself to feel and acknowledge all the feelings, good, bad and sad, the more deeply I can breathe.
That breath allows me to see my life as something that is more dimensional than I have in the past.
My intention for 2023 is to continue to work on identifying my inner critic (IC), neutralizing her message, and working on continuing to trust in myself as I create a new life for myself. When I neutralize my IC I can clearly see who I am. And when I trust myself and be 100% my authentic self, I thrive.
I am OK to be exactly who I am in every circumstance. I am me. Period.
Life is a multidimensional and multi sensory experience that fills me with gratitude and awe. Intentionally.
