Activated
The other night I got together with several of the women who are part of Joanna Klienman’s Dethroning Your Inner Critic Community. We do this a few times a year. It is amazing to be able to connect in 3D.
When we were together, we were talking about being scared to take steps forward. I shared that I was scared that my web-site, announcing my new business, Margie Ione Coaching, that I have spent 6 months (well, my whole life) working towards, was going live.
Joanna challenged me by asking me if I was really scared? At first I thought “of course I am”. Yet, as I became curious about my fear in my meditation the next morning my thinking shifted. Joanna was on to something.
In truth, I am not scared. I am so excited to create something that was born inside my authenticity. I feel empowered. I feel confident. I have never felt more authentically myself.
Yes, it is hard to put myself out there for the world to see or judge as my inner critic wants me to believe. It creates anxiety inside of me. However, when I tap into this funcional anxiety as my authentic self, I find the more I trust myself and the more I truly feel the anxiety I am able to to unhook from it. So, yes I have anxiety and fear, but I am not SCARED.
I believe a better word is ACTIVATED.
What I have come to learn through the lens of my curiosity is that my circumstances activate my inner critic in a BIG way. AND they allow me to find freedom from my inner critic thoughts. I experience a level and a frequency of awe, gratitude and joy that I haven’t experienced before when I do this work.
This work fosters change. Period.
i now have the tools to master my mind and calm my nervous system. By continuing to use the MIND method, I notice when I am not aligned with my authentic self. I feel it in my body. When I notice, I use my tools to get back to my heart because that is where my authenticity lives.
I am still amazed that I truly didn't know I could think another way until I started doing this work. My inner critic sure had a strong hold! Of course she did, she came into being because she wanted to protect me when I did not know how to protect myself. I am grateful to her. Afterall, she is my best teacher.
However, I do not need protection anymore. I have the tools to self-regulate. I have everything I need inside of me.
As I continue to choose to trust myself while I unhook from my inner critic thoughts, I am amazed that I do not get stuck in the pain that really feeling it all brings. I have often thought “I can't go ‘there’, I'll never come back”. Have any of you ever had that thought? If you do this work I imagine you said yes.
Feeling pain sucks. However, when I go through it, I do not get stuck. I get to the other side and I am OK. Every time.
YES, I acknowledge my demons will always exist. The truth is I want them there because they teach me. AND, I know when I use curiosity to explore my demons, I rid myself of so many of the thoughts that were given to me. I separate my authentic self from my inner critic.
I do not expect to be pain free inside my authenticity. I do expect to feel pain, viscerally. I am human after all. Alongside feeling my pain, I commit to working towards neutralizing my dirty pain and nurturing and showing warm-hearted compassion to my clean pain.
YES, my circumstances are triggering me at every turn. I am ACTIVATED, AND I am navigating these circumstances as best I can and with many slips, pretty darn well.
